This post is in partnership with our friends at Bugaboo, a brand known for creating thoughtfully designed products that support parents through the many moving parts of daily life.
March 12 is National Working Moms Day, and we asked the STJ community: what does being a “working mom” mean to you?
The answers we received were thoughtful, funny, and honest. Some responses focused on careers and ambition, others centered on the invisible labor that fills the hours before and after a paid job, some spoke more holistically about the identity shift that happens when you become a parent. Many spoke about the mental load: the constant background processing that seems to run in a mother’s brain at all times.
This project has reinstated our belief that the definition of work itself deserves a closer look. Because the truth is, every single mom works. Some are doing that work inside a company, an office, or a creative field. Others are doing it inside their homes, their communities, or the endless logistical ecosystem that keeps a family functioning. The mental load is there no matter what. Consider Labour by Paris Paloma as required listening to this list of insightful submissions.
Photos by Nuria Rius. Responses below have been edited for length and clarity.
"To me, being a working mom isn’t really about whether you have a job or not. Motherhood itself is work. Much of it invisible and happening entirely inside your brain." — Cara, head of brand at Lulu's
“Being a working mom means there is never. Enough. Time.” — Mom of two: a son who is almost 18 (a senior in two “slam metal” bands and graduating this spring) and a daughter who is almost 9 and involved in three separate dance classes and Odyssey of the Mind. Never a dull moment.
“For me, I've only ever been a freelance writer with kids. Sometimes this is a maddening prospect—no one would ever call the field I'm in ‘lucrative.’ I've wondered so many times: is this worth it? But as they've gotten older and spend more time in school, I know they are happiest and most nourished there, and I'm happiest and most nourished doing what I do.” — Anonymous
“Literally all moms work. The work of a mom is work alone. If I wasn’t also running businesses while being my baby’s full-time caregiver, I would be doing all the housework I am currently neglecting.” — Jillian Camera, co-founder of Toad Style and Familiars Coffee & Bagels, Brooklyn
“Help looks like holding the door open for my Mack truck of a double stroller at the grocery store. My housecleaner arranging my three-year-old’s stuffies in perfect formation on her bed.” — Anna Doré, head of communications at Rothy’s, mom of two in Astoria, Queens
“Being a working mom means doing it all with a million tabs open in your brain. Constantly feeling like one day you crushed it at work but missed a parenting milestone, and the next day it’s the reverse. But also remembering how badass it is to be raising two women and working hard to do better for them.” — Mom of two girls, PR director
"Literally all moms work. The work of a mom is work alone. If I wasn’t also running businesses while being my baby’s full-time caregiver, I would be doing all the housework I am currently neglecting."
“Being a new mom means having two brains operating at the same time.” — Creative based in NYC
“My relationship with work has drastically changed since becoming a mother because I’m realizing just how much time I devote to professional ambition—not just the typical eight hours, but the mental load that comes with everything surrounding it. It’s tempting to think disproportionately about work instead of being present as a mother because, and this is hard to explain, I find the first… in a strange way… easier. Work feels like a checklist where I can tick off boxes. Parenting doesn’t work like that. As a result, I sometimes find myself strangely more obsessed with work while also understanding how unhealthy that can be. It’ll be 7 p.m., and I’m already thinking about emails that need to be sent the next morning.” — AnaMaria Glavan, editorial director, Spread the Jelly and co-founder, GAAN Creative
“It means accepting less than your best on both parenting and working. Something has to give every day. You just have to decide which.” — Working mom of an almost one-year-old in Los Angeles
“Being a working mom means you have two worlds pulling you in opposite directions, both of which you love (or I hope you do!). Some days you feel empowered and blessed by that reality, and other days you feel absolutely overwhelmed by it.” — Kels, founder of Popupflorist and House of Three
“It feels taboo to say motherhood alone isn’t completely fulfilling, but as someone who always dreamed of becoming a mom, I was blindsided by that realization. My greatest accomplishment is creating two amazing little humans—and I also need something else to aspire to or I would lose myself entirely.” — Jade, entrepreneur and mom living in Brooklyn
"Work feels like a checklist where I can tick off boxes. Parenting doesn’t work like that. As a result, I sometimes find myself strangely more obsessed with work while also understanding how unhealthy that can be."
“Being a parent far from extended family means the support system often comes from public infrastructure. I’m deeply grateful to have had 480 days of maternity and paternity leave for each of our three children, and to live in a country where government-subsidized preschool and daycare allow us both to work. What I still miss, however, is family nearby—someone who notices when I’m exhausted and spontaneously steps in.” — 40-year-old American-Swedish mom of three living in Stockholm, Head of Communications at a tech company
“It means every day you are measuring the trade-off of your time. I love working and want to continue growing my career, but the more time I invest in work the less time I spend with my son—and that time feels incredibly precious.” — Nilla Ali, co-founder GAAN Creative
“Help looks like not just doing what mom asks, but going above and beyond what she hasn’t asked for. Schedule her a massage. Bring her a coffee without being asked. Notice when the baby is out of snacks. Is mom the only person capable of realizing we need a Whole Foods run?” — Monica LaBadia, marketing director in Los Angeles and mom to an 11-month-old
“Right now, help looks like people simply acknowledging the ever-changing state I’m in and offering kindness—even assistance with writing copy lines on deadline.” — Cami Garcia, Tejana writer in Southern California and soon-to-be first-time mom
“As I prepare to have my second baby as a working mom, I find myself disengaging from the narratives on social media that pit stay-at-home moms and working moms against each other. Both are hard work. But being a working mom makes me a more confident and present mom, because I have to be.” — Anonymous, works in politics in NYC
"Previously I was a ‘do it all, push myself to capacity’ person. That person is gone. Help now looks like childcare, staffing, and being vocal about what I need instead of performing capability."
“[Being a working mom] is about learning to make peace with imperfection. Showing up where you can, when you can, and trusting the bigger picture will come together. It’s less about ‘doing it all’ and more about building a life where your work and your family both have room to grow as the balance shifts.” — 33-year-old mom in Colorado expecting her second child
“Previously I was a ‘do it all, push myself to capacity’ person. That person is gone. Help now looks like childcare, staffing, and being vocal about what I need instead of performing capability. The biggest shift has been involving more people—especially my partner—instead of white-knuckling through everything alone.” — Jade, entrepreneur and mom living in Brooklyn
“To me, being a working mom isn’t really about whether you have a job or not. Motherhood itself is work—much of it invisible and happening entirely inside your brain. It’s the constant mental tabs open in your head, remembering everything from the missing ingredient for dinner to scheduling the next pediatrician appointment. For moms who also work professionally, that world doesn’t replace the first one—it just stacks on top of it. Some days look like answering Slack messages at 7:30 a.m. while cutting apples into hearts and bunnies. Other days it’s developing brand strategies while wondering if your toddler is going to poop her pants that day (potty training… am I right?). It’s messy and imperfect and honestly pretty funny when you stop and think about the juxtaposition.” — Cara, creative director and head of brand and merch at Lulus.com, mom of a 3-year-old and currently pregnant with her second daughter
