Fun Auntie's Guide to the Holidays

Words by Perveen Singh

They say it takes a village, and no village is complete without a Fun Auntie. Perhaps she’s a Carrie Bradshaw-type, one who adores your kids with no plans—yet or ever—for her own. A fun auntie can be a mom herself—it’s how she relates to her nieces or nephews or friends’ kids. It’s an attitude of glamorous enthusiasm, down-to-get-dirty spunk, and lightening everyone’s load. Rihanna, always vocal about her maternal aspirations, was the ultimate Fun Auntie. You could imagine her swarmed at family gatherings long before she re-hauled the “cool mom” template and made it bespoke. 

My own mom is a very fun aunt, even when she’s not always a fun mom—sorry mum, love you. She loves to gab with her nieces and nephews, saving the lectures for me. She loves an antic, but never seemed, ahem, amused catching me sneaking out. I had a few Fun Aunties growing up: the ones I could talk to about my crushes; who’d graciously watch my Britney dance routines; and who always spoke to me in a way that made me feel adult. (Grown up in a cute way, not a bills-and-taxes way.) Fun Aunties aren’t bound by birth or bloodlines; Fun Auntie is a state of mind.

Now that I’m veering into the age myself, I’m learning to embrace it—besides, a Funtie Auntie is ageless. And the holidays—well, they are our time to shine. A lesson from the greats: My aforementioned Aunties would show up in to-die outfits, covertly slipping me their lipsticks and earrings, with ice cold sauvignon blanc and hot gossip in tow. Upon their arrival, I’d see my mom’s shoulders drop in relief. 

I personally adore the parties, the merry-making, and that delicious suspension of time between Christmas and New Year’s, but this can be a nutty time. I’m here to share some FA pearls of wisdom to help keep the season festive, fabulous, or at the very least sane.  You, like me, are likely up to your ears in holiday prep. Speaking of ears, how close are yours to your shoulders? Take a deep breath and count to three. Alright, now that oxygen’s flowing to your brain, let’s dive in. 'Tis the season to indulge. Unlike Santa, this Fun Auntie firmly believes you deserve something nice, even if you’ve been a little naughty.

If you’ve been feeling the great chasm between friends with kids and friends without, clear your calendar for an early night in. While living abroad, my friend Katie and I bonded over dancing at Le Baron, sourcing the perfect vintage find, and our childhood love for the Olsen twins. We spent a rainy night in Rome watching Winning London, and when she moved to New York, I sent her a copy of Passport to Paris (with our faces photoshopped onto the cover.) At two, her daughter’s a little too young for a viewing, but we’re counting down the days until we can pass the baton. For now, put your spin on the Criterion Closet. Gather around for a movie show-and-tell. Everyone (kids included) gets to make a compelling pitch for their favorite holiday movie, and the winner gets to screen their choice. I’m personally partial to The Grinch (2001), a kitsch fever dream. (I’m also obsessed with Christine Baranski’s wardrobe in it.) Fun Aunties like to enter kidworld, if only for the night, especially if it involves snuggling, snacks, and parents getting a much-needed break. 

More audio-than-cinephile? Music video night is a great way to spend time together (and sneak in some cardio.) Not every “when I was your age” needs to end in something dire and depressing. “When I was your age, I danced around in a feather boa and learned every word to ‘Wannabe,’ so let’s get to it!” And it doesn’t have to be about the classic—blasting Olivia Rodrigo makes me feel like a teen again. (I can smell the covert cigs in my Jeep.) Remember that aforementioned Britney routine? Distract the tots with a choreo session to their favorite bop—you’re never too young for your first Motown Christmas. Bonus points for leaving them with a playlist when mom and dad need a break from C*com*lon.

Does performance art make your toes curl? Perhaps your Fun Auntie MO is more hands-on. Yes, arts and crafts can be chaotic, but also remarkably soothing. Why not embrace reconnecting with your inner child? On a recent family vacation, my mom and I organized supervised painting time with my nephews and niece. We sketched our dream holidays (mine: drinking martinis on a leopard safari) and dream outfits (a Schiaparelli coat.) The kids loved it—both the activity and my masterpieces; they have great taste. A paint set is a wonderful and thoughtful gift to take along (this one comes in its own box for easy cleanup.) If there’s a party to plan, get everyone on board by painting name tags or decorations. To make up for the inevitable mess, bring along a beautiful soap as a hostess gift. The Naomi hand wash also neutralizes funky smells (handy now, handy later.) Maybe once the place looks less like a disaster zone, you two can sneak off for triage manis and a party post-mortem.

Most parents hate mess—don’t even get them started on slime—but the Fun Auntie? Well that’s our oeuvre. Seeking reprieve from all the Thanksgiving overindulging, I took my family to Color Me Mine for an afternoon that didn’t center around food and drink (admittedly, our favorite activity.) My almost-octogenarian, left-brained dad initially balked at the idea, before painting an obscenely adorable gingerbread ornament (which has since earned its place front and center on my tree.) Mum unleashed her inner Monet on an absolutely stunning bowl that’ll be perfect for dips and roasted olives. Another all-age-appropriate activity I’d whisk your kids away to: mini golf. Pack everyone up for a rousing round al fresco: the fresh air, low stakes, and competitive spirit make for some cute family bonding.

Holidays are a time for nostalgia, and nothing is as nostalgic as an adult sleepover. I loved it when my aunties spent the night, which meant I usually got to kick it past my bedtime. If there’s a new mom in your life whose main December goal is hibernating, head to hers with a pizza and some matching PJs (washable silk makes these luxe striped Eberjey pair a no-brainer for time-pressed moms.) Make sure to offer to keep an eagle eye on her precious bundle while mom slips off for a luxurious bath.

It’s a trope that Fun Aunties are drunk during the holidays. I’m here to tell you cliches are cliches for a reason, they are true. I love a festive tipple, and while nothing sets my heart aflutter like an ice-cold flute of champagne, I’d never turn down a cozy hot toddy by a fireplace. Since I have no grandkids to offer, I instead warm my in-laws’ hearts with a build-your-own Hot Toddy bar, a guaranteed crowd pleaser at said sleepover or any holiday gathering. Whatever your poison, it’s a fun DIY activity, and hey, if you wanna teach your little ones how to work the bar, I say start ‘em young. Just remember, Fun Auntie-ing the night before means helping with cleanup, childcare, and pouring the mimosas in the morning.

Listen, the holidays can be tough. This is a charged time of year, equal parts emotional and celebratory. It’s easy to forget the reason for the season: time spent with family, inherited or chosen. A Fun Auntie reminder that taking care of yourself or others makes us all feel fantastic. 

Perveen Singh is an actress and screenwriter with TV credits, national campaigns, and several Best Actress wins on the festival circuit. A Black List x WIF Episodic Lab finalist and creator of the Chili Padi Substack, she runs on hot sauce, nostalgia-fueled glam, and the unwavering belief that champagne never needs a reason.