Getting Sticky with Esther Povitsky

Having a child is, as they say, one of the greatest gifts in life. One could argue this is doubly true of a comedian, for whom having a kid is not merely a beacon of joy and spiritual awakening, but also a beacon of material. Just ask Esther Povitsky, the comedian, actress, and as of February, mom of two.

Before becoming a mother, Esther already had an impressive list of credits to her name, including a recurring role on Crazy Ex-Girlfriend and a wildly successful stand-up special Hot For My Name. Then, in 2024, just before releasing her movie Drugstore June, she got pregnant with her first child and gradually began chronicling—on stage and Instagram, TikTok and her podcast Trash Tuesday—the dizzying bodily changes, weird cravings, complex emotions, and downright absurdities that followed.

Esther’s humor has always crackled with a devilish candor that’s delightfully delulu, astoundingly astute, and turns out, lends itself quite well to motherhood. In 2025, she got pregnant with her second child, a boy, and as she put it, “basically did a whole stand-up tour about having extreme gender disappointment.”

Whether she’s sharing her struggles with postpartum anxiety or commenting on her baby’s looks (“My baby did turn out to be cute,” she said, “so I love her”), Esther has a way of saying the unsayable in a way that makes you feel seen and safe to laugh your head off. Sometimes the topics skew a tad taboo, like when she described her grandma as one of those “who won’t die, have you seen those? Yeah they’re so awkward.” But like the catheter after the epidural—the “chef’s kiss,” as Esther described it—it’s always just what the doctor ordered.

Here, Esther talks about grappling with postpartum shame, the beauty of parallel playing, and how she overcame gender disappointment (hint: she gave birth).

Words by Rachel Hodin, Images by Emily Malan

Joy with a side of devastation? Sounds about right

Looking back, my birth with my first wasn't amazing. I was really anxious about things going wrong. I’d had a miscarriage a couple years before and, as anyone who’s had any kind of pregnancy loss knows, when you do get pregnant, you’re terrified every second of that pregnancy. I was scared of everything—from any kind of loss to a still birth. My great grandma had a stillborn, so I thought maybe that could happen to me. I really felt like, Eyes on the prize. I just want this baby out of me and alive. 

I ended up getting induced at 39 weeks against my mom and my sister's wishes. I was just so eager to get the pregnancy over with, to do my job and deliver a living baby. The induction did not go great. I ended up with an infection. She ended up with meconium in her lungs. I'm a semi-crunchy mom and that first birth really threw us for a loop. My daughter and I both had to be on antibiotics. She had X-rays as a newborn. She was in the NICU and when I walked in, they were giving her formula. I didn't have any lactation consulting so I wasn't able to breastfeed her and that still weighs on me.

The second she was born, she was whisked away. There was no beautiful moment holding her on my chest. I was in my hospital room and my body was so messed up, I couldn’t get out of bed. So my husband went and took pictures of her, sent them to me, and then came back and told me about her and that’s how I met her. Obviously it wasn’t ideal, but I still felt so much joy in that and because my baby was born. 

I remember when me and my husband had our first meal afterwards, there was no baby in the room. We were just sitting there quietly. We were happy, I guess, but just confused as to what was going on. It was not great.

“I went into a really horrible anxiety-shame spiral.”

During my first pregnancy, I went off my SSRI. I thought it would be better for the pregnancy and I was also really struggling with taking any sort of pill. So I stopped and I was fine until postpartum. 

For six to nine months after having her, I went into a really horrible anxiety-shame spiral. I feel like my PPA was so different from what I usually hear people describe. It wasn't, Oh my god, something's going to happen to the baby. Obviously I was so obsessed and in love with her and worried about her, but it was more about disliking myself and analyzing everything I did that I thought could be construed as wrong. I treated myself horribly: I loved to hate myself and blame myself for every little thing. If I lost or misplaced one of her toys, I was carrying the shame of, like, killing an animal. It was really sick and twisted; I had all these horrible thoughts, like that my husband and baby are so incredible, they’d be better off without me. I really thought it’d be so much better for my family unit if I wasn't here. 

I remember bringing that up to my husband and I could tell by the way he looked that he was thinking, "Okay, she's crazy." He was like, "Not only do we want you, not only does this baby want you, she needs you—you're her mom." I heard him and saw him and knew he was right, but I just couldn't feel that it was true. 

I think my postpartum crash-out was, in part, due to being off my Lexapro and just adjusting, but I still don't know if it was purely that or because people have crashes postpartum, or a mixture of both. 

“Bouncing back” = not always all it’s cracked up to be! 

It was really sad. And of course this is toxic to talk about, but I had so much self-hatred and anxiety that I couldn’t really eat. So I “bounced back” really fast. I was really skinny, fitting into all my clothes. 

Once I started to realize, Wait, this is extreme and needs to be fixed as soon as possible, I started seeing a therapist twice a week. I sort of threw the kitchen sink at it. I also joined a support group, did EMDR therapy, I really leaned on my best friend, I went back on my medication. And slowly I found my way back to a normal state. 

Proof #3938402398 that no postpartum is the same 

I also got an induction for my second, but it went so much better. It was kind of a dream birth. I think it’s true what they say about the second birth, that they come so much quicker. I met him right away, he was on my chest right after so we got that skin-to-skin. I feel really grateful that I got to have that beautiful experience.

I also didn’t go off my SSRI for this last pregnancy, and the difference is night and day. I’m breastfeeding this time and holding onto more weight, but I'm so much happier and not hating myself. Sometimes I can feel tiny thoughts of that negativity creeping in. Two days ago we couldn't find my daughter this bag of bows that she likes, and I started to feel it, but I caught it and stopped it. 

The fact that breastfeeding came so easily with my second almost made me more upset that I didn’t breastfeed my daughter. I was like, wait—it could’ve been so easy. So I’ll always feel guilty about that, but I’m really trying not to. The anti-formula brigade online treats you like, if you can't breastfeed your baby, your baby should die. They're crazy. So I do really want to advocate for people to feed their baby however they want because there's no wrong way to do it.

Welcome to the boy mom gang

I used to feel really bad for boy moms—I basically did a whole stand-up tour about having extreme gender disappointment. Did not want a son. Could not relate to a son. Someone asked me if I was afraid I was going to be more of a boy mom and favor my son and I was like, “No, of course not. My daughter is the queen of the house.” I just did not know what I was going to do or experience with my son. 

When I’d post clips of those bits, I got a lot of women relating and a lot of men being like, “This is disgusting,” “You're trash,” “Don't have a baby then.” But I never got any hate comments from boy moms; they were never offended. And now I'm like, oh, because they knew they were going to win. They were so confident I was going to cross over and be in love with my son that they didn't need to argue against my negativity. And yeah, now I'm obviously so thrilled. I love my son.

Drop the skincare routine…

I think you have to be silly whenever you can. I’ve had other bouts with extreme anxiety and depression before, but since I’ve come out of that last one, I feel so joyous and happy. I’m so in love with motherhood, with having a family, and with taking care of my family in a way that’s shocking to everyone that knows me.

Pleasure is medicine and anything you can do that gives you pleasure is so good for you—like laughter, spending time with friends and family, spending time with my kids. It’s basically my anti-aging plan. I don't do any injectables and I barely do any skincare, but I'm going to stay young and look my best by enjoying life. That's sort of been my 2026 mom-of-two headline.

Need more material? Have a kid 

I really thought that after my first, my creativity was completely decimated. I was like, oops—all brain cells are mommy brain cells now, none of the other ones survived. I'll never have another creative thought again. But it was weird: my first time going back to stand-up, I had so much more material than I’d ever had come out of me in one sitting. I know people say that you have to live your life to create and write; maybe I just never lived my life before because I didn't really know that. 

I did not realize how funny a 2-year-old is. Every single thing that they say, that they do, their instincts—it's just so funny. I was driving her to the farmer’s market and she was in the back seat and she kept saying something I couldn't understand. Finally I realized she was saying, “I see a spot,” which she’s heard me and my husband say when we’re driving and looking for a space. She doesn’t know what it means, but she remembered it and she’s saying it. 

I know this sounds so basic; yeah, kids bring you joy. But I really didn't know that. Initially, I didn't want kids. Then I came around to it and thought, maybe I'll have one. And then I met my daughter and I was like, Whoa, I need more of this. I had my biggest light bulb moment when I first met her, which was: I can't believe this is what I am to my parents. I was like, oh, no wonder they drove me to dance lessons. No wonder they never cared when I was a bitch or when I had so many millions of needs; I am this to them. 

Parallel play forever

I'm a really big believer in independent play. I can see how this sounds sort of sad, but when I think of my childhood, the greatest joy I ever had was when I was playing alone in my room, inventing games and stories, and just creating my own world. I feel like the only reason I am creative is because of all those hours I spent alone in my room dancing in front of my mirror, playing school, teaching my stuffed animals how to read—whatever it was. That's what I'm trying to get back to as an adult, what I’m trying to channel when I sit alone in my bedroom with my notebook out.

So I really want to bring that to my children. I don't want to be in my kids' faces all the time entertaining them. Obviously there are times when we’re playing together and having so much fun, but my favorite thing is when me and my daughter are parallel playing: when she’s doing her own thing and I'm doing mine. Watching her play pretend brings me so much joy and laughter. I really think it helps build a creative spirit and independence.

On the “semi-crunchy” mom method 

I'm a seven-to-seven mom; my babies sleep in their own crib seven p.m. to 7 a.m.. My four-month-old isn’t there yet, but we're working towards it. I always thought I’d be a co-sleeping mom, but it just doesn't make sense if I want to be a full person. So I’m semi-crunchy. 

It’s possible that I’m going really hard on healthy food with my daughter because I wasn’t able to breastfeed her, but for now, we’re getting away with no packaged or processed foods. She eats, primarily, a diet of whole foods. We make lentils and chicken; she eats a lot of avocado and sweet potatoes. I know it won’t last forever, but I'm super proud of it for now. 

But like I said, I'm semi-crunchy: if we go to someone’s house and they're eating chips, she can have them. I'm not going to be super militant about it. I did fall down the rabbit hole of natural fiber clothing , but I think if you can do something 80/20, it’s fine. I grew up in the ‘80s, eating McDonald’s, when everything was polyester—which I can confirm because my mom saved most of my baby clothes and I'm now putting my daughter in some. I try to do the best I can, but I’m also trying to not let it control my life. 

“My number one priority is enjoying the shit out of motherhood.”

Since having my second, I’ve done a couple sets. But what I'm really struggling with is: why do I have a job that's at night? After I get home from a set, I'm wired and it costs me a lot of sleep. Two is a whole different game, breastfeeding is a whole different game. And I know this is so obvious, but when I'm not tired, I'm such a happy, amazing, fun mother. When I am tired, the job is so hard. And unfortunately, part of the job is being tired. It's not: how good can you do the job at your best self. It's: how good can you do the job when you're also really tired and the house is dirty. So I'm grappling with that.

I actually have a really selfish approach to motherhood where my number one priority is enjoying the shit out of it. I don't want to miss a second. I just want to enjoy it and have so much fun doing it. The hardest part is trying to do it all and realizing that when you do try, you're just going to fail. The best part is how much I love it. 

This has just come to me as I’ve hit the four month mark with my second, but I feel like I do my best when I imagine there's two of me—as if I'm Hannah Montana and Miley Stewart or I’m Superman and Clark Kent. I have the “me” that’s mom, that’s all about the kids and having fun with them, taking care of the house and other “mom” tasks. And then there’s the “Hannah Montana” me, where it’s all about me. Where I’m looking into new makeup and ordering from the Rhode launch, where I’m meeting a girlfriend for an almond milk latte and we're just talking about Miu Miu ballet flats. At first I thought getting rid of that person was the key and now I'm realizing that, no, she serves everybody too. Even though it seems really frivolous, I need her now.