Getting Sticky with Elsie Hewitt

To call a woman “brains and beauty” is reductive, implying of course that the two things don’t often come in tandem.  That a female in possession of intellect and gorgeousness is a rarity and often seen by society as a threat—when, in fact, we all know neither is true. And what if the person in question was also a truthteller, an advocate, and brimming with heart and conviction? Well, that’s a power that British-born, L.A.-bred Elsie wields on a day-to-day, moment-to-moment basis. 

Model, actress, endometriosis activist, and now “mum” to one (she shares her daughter, Scottie with ex-partner, Pete Davidson), Elsie is settling into new motherhood. She does so with candor, a sense of humor, and an attention to details—she makes her own fruit and veggie purees for her daughter—we tip our hats to. 

Below she talks about why she was compelled to publicly speak up about endometriosis, how unfortunate pregnancy was but otherworldly birth was, and the pleasure of putting together a perfect baby ‘fit. 

Filed under things about women’s health that really make you think: WTF 

There are statistics that say more money and research and funding has gone into male balding than it has endometriosis. For me, one of the most frustrating and scary parts about having endometriosis is the unknown. It's so understudied and misunderstood that there was no way for me to categorically know what was going on or if not having kids would be something that I would have to come to peace with. There were just so many question marks.

The main reason I got endo surgery was that my life was unlivable with how much chronic pain I was in. [Elsie underwent laparoscopic surgery to treat her endo symptoms in 2024.] I also wanted to preserve my fertility and do what I could to make it so [conceiving naturally] would be an option for me in the future. And then it just ended up happening way quicker than I had anticipated. In my heart, I've always known that being a mom is something I was put on this earth to do. I really did feel that. But I was not in a place where I was thinking about taking that step in my life when it happened. I was 29 when I got pregnant. 

One of my main things now having a daughter of my own is that god forbid this may be something that she has to deal with because there are studies about it potentially being hereditary. I want to approach it the way that I wish it could have been approached with me in my shoes. And hopefully she'll have the answers that I didn't. 

“Each and every one of us have felt this excruciating pain and we are ready to keep fighting so that other people don't have to.”

Since the surgery, I feel so much better. I am anxious about the return of it because it is a progressive disease and so it's something that can come back. But I'm just trying to be present and embrace the fact that I have regular periods that feel normal. 

It's just so crazy that I lived for as long as I did, thinking that and knowing that something was wrong but brushing it aside for myself, telling myself that I was overreacting. So now I'm taking it upon myself to try to tell women to listen to that pain and take it seriously.

Speaking out about endometriosis is such a no-brainer to me personally. I didn't realize that it would help people in the way that it has or that I hope that it has. I get a lot of messages and outreach. People share their stories with me and I feel like it has created a section of community in my life that feels very beautiful, supportive, and uplifting. I've connected with so many incredibly strong, resilient women that are approaching endo and research advocacy and all of that stuff in the same way as me: Okay how do I use this experience and use my voice. 

It's very inspiring to see the way that women come together to stand up and talk about this, doing whatever they can to help the cause. It's obviously such a heartbreaking situation, but it's been very amazing to know that each and every one of us have felt this excruciating pain and here we are, ready to keep fighting so that other people don't have to or so that other people have answers.

Preordained mother

Motherhood was one of the things that I was meant to do. I've always been a nurturing person and I have a very strong intuition. Those things have guided me through motherhood thus far. It’s a thing about myself that I've always recognized and liked. I just love babies and I love kids. 

Pregnancy was personally not my favorite. I discovered a lot of underlying health issues that I was dealing with.  I have this thing called Ehlers Danlos, which just made my pregnancy personally a nightmare. I was in a lot of pain. I got really sick. But it's crazy the way you kind of just forget it. I think we're kind of programmed to forget how intense it is when it's happening. I think a similar thing happens with endo pain also. I didn't love being pregnant. It was not great.

Post-baby, I'm trying to find myself again and I'm coming back to myself.  That person as an individual [from before], she exists somewhere within me. She's a part of me, but I'm not functioning that way throughout my day-to-day life like that anymore. Everything is different, right? My priorities are different. 

She'll be eight months old in a couple days. It's amazing. I mean, I just love her. It's the hardest thing I've ever done and it's the most rewarding and beautiful thing I've ever done. And sometimes I just have these moments where I'm just like this is so hard. I am so tired. But then I just have these moments where I think this is so fun. She's just my little bestie and she doesn't even talk yet. Like she's gonna talk to me! It's just crazy. I'm often in awe;  I think I haven't really fully processed the fact that I have a baby.

I was in labor for 23 hours. I had to be induced cuz she had intrauterine growth restriction. A lot went wrong in my labor and in my induction, but once it came time to push her out, I loved it. Like I actually loved giving birth. I don't know if that's weird.  I remember the room being dark and then I had a feeling that it was time. We might have opened the blinds. But it just felt like in the room, a veil was lifted and the room lit up. I just shifted into this mode of: I'm ready. Let's go. Let's get this baby out. I just turned into this very primal version of myself. I felt so powerful.

Very very ordinary miracles 

Obviously I was completely exhausted. I remember right after I gave birth, I was very much in shock, but I remember thinking: That's the coolest thing ever. It feels so alien but it's the most human at the same time. I've made a joke with my friends before; I was like: This human just came out of my body, I just pushed a human out of my body like this should be on the news but everybody does it all day long and it's normal! It's the most miraculous, incredibly powerful thing and we are just out here, let’s just say, not getting praised the way that we should.

Breaking down mom guilt

I think that I really really like overprepared myself for postpartum depression just as somebody who really goes the extra mile to stay on top of my mental health and checking in with myself. I'm very consistent about therapy. I think I really prepared myself.  I was waiting for it to happen but  I didn't personally have postpartum depression. What I wasn't prepared for was the anxiety and the guilt, the “mom guilt.” That's been probably the realest thing for me. I just did this thing that I always do where I don't allow myself to just rest. I wasn't resting enough. I was immediately up and at 'em. I wish I had given myself some time to just sit and chill and be guilt-free, but that's not something I'm good at. My being really hard on myself was like the hardest thing.

 I'm very hard on myself overall and so it takes a lot of mental work for me to get myself to a place where I actually feel okay going and doing things that I need to do for work. I often like to downplay or minimize the things that I'm doing and tell myself that I shouldn't be doing them. I should be with her all the time instead. As it stands, I am so early in it that I'm giving myself the grace and the space to still be very attached and not codependent in an unhealthy way, but you know, she's my baby. But I also want to be a parent that is bringing new things from the outside world into the house. I also want to work and obviously be able to give her a beautiful comfortable life. 

A perfect day with Scottie

Oh my gosh, there's so much to say or do. We have a very good routine going with her schedule, feedings, and naps. So, I would still stick to that. But my goals recently have been little day trips or day activities that can fall in her wake windows in a nice way.

So I would do a cute morning coffee walk and get a pastry and then bring her home. We do breakfast.  I make all of her little purees myself and I'm really into that. I'll feed her some food and then I'll dress her up in an adorable outfit. I'm really into matching right now. I love taking her to her baby music class or we love going to museums or the Brooklyn Botanical Gardens, which is so peaceful and beautiful. I'll bring her Doona and a carrier so I can walk her around.

Then we come back and chill; we play and practice crawling. She's getting to her crawling stage now. I can try to squeeze in some time for myself to get stuff done. Even if it's just some work calls or my emails or a Zoom audition. Or I can go do a little workout. Little things like that. But I also like allowing myself to step away, I come back a lot more balanced so that I can feel like a lot more present with her. And so I think a perfect 24 hours also includes something in there for me as well. so that I can be as present as possible in her routine. And then I'll have dinner. Sometimes I puree for her what I'm having for dinner, which is cute. Then we have a little bath time bedtime routine and we love it. She has a few favorite books right now. She’s a good sleeper. 

Girl mum 

I am always keeping an eye out for pieces. I love adding a hat or something on their head and shoes. It's so ridiculous because she can't even walk and there's no reason for the shoes besides it just looks so cute. Nine out of 10 times I'm just like: I'm not putting shoes on her. I'm exhausted. I just need to get her into the stroller. But sometimes on a special occasion, I'll put shoes on her and I like to color-coordinate everything and match her outfits to me.

[Having a daughter] has made me even more proud to be a woman and I think that it has been such a defining factor of my womanhood. It reaffirmed to me that this is part of what being a woman is if you decide to be a mother. It made me really proud and I'm really proud to have a baby girl.

Accepting help = better mom 

I have a nanny who is extremely helpful. Allowing that help, with my feelings of mom guilt, has probably been my biggest and most consistent obstacle or struggle throughout this journey. Even though  it's so unproductive to be stressing about and I know logically that it's not something I should be stressing about and that I am a better mom when I accept help.

 I don't have any family that lives here, so that's tough. I have some really awesome mom friends and my next door neighbor has a baby who is a couple months older than Scotty. That's been wonderful for me to just support one another through it and be so close. 

I was one of the first of all my friends to have a baby, so it has actually been a little difficult. I'm just going to try to do everything myself because I don't like to explain it to someone else. That's really fucking exhausting honestly. That part sucks: accepting help or if somebody's trying to help you and you try to explain it to them. Sometimes it's just easier to just do it yourself because if they don't do it right. I just found that that was a real hurdle for me when I was so unbelievably sleep deprived and so exhausted and begging for help and felt so isolated and so alone. I wanted someone so badly to just come in and read my mind and be like, "Go take a nap." But I'm going to sit down next to you so that you can be close to your baby and then let me do your dishes. We don't have to talk about anything that's going on. I'll sit here in silence with you. You don't have to tell me how you're doing. We can literally just sit and maybe eat something together. I will take the baby and hold the baby while you take a nap.

I think I isolated myself a lot because I really would end up just feeling like I was hosting if I was having anybody over to come and visit.

On Elsie’s horizon

Endo advocacy has really become part of my life's purpose honestly like it's something that is super important to me so that's always going to be at the forefront. But I'm really excited to get back into acting. [Elsie has starred in shows like Industry and Dave.] I think everything that I've experienced and the life that I've lived since I was acting before I have so much more to go off of now. Actors talk about their toolbox and I'm a mother now—I can use that knowledge for a character or just knowing what certain feelings that I can then emulate into a character. I'm excited to dive back into roles that I'm really excited about and I want to keep writing. I have a short film that I'm planning on trying to make come to life in the near future.

I’m being more intentional about the projects that I'm pursuing because my time is so much more limited. I think it's been really good for me to be able to be more selective about where I want to put my time and energy.